I recently came across a website called Seeking Arrangement, a dating website for people looking for “mutually beneficial arrangements.” The site connects “Sugar Daddies” with “Sugar Babies.” Basically, it promotes arrangements where young women date older men in exchange for expensive gifts.
Unlike other dating websites, profiles of Sugar Daddies (and Sugar Mommies) list the person’s annual income and net worth. For example, “ActionDaddy” is worth $750,000 to $1,000,000. And the profiles of Sugar Babies list how much each expect from their Sugar Daddies (or Mommies). “Foxy Kat” expects between $3,001 and $5000 a month from her Sugar Daddy. She asks, ” I’m looking to make YOUR World a better place… Do YOU want to do the same for Me?” She makes it sound so simple, doesn’t she?
According to the website, this is a very natural dating arrangement: ” Let’s face it… It’s human nature for older men to want the younger and more attractive women. It’s also natural for younger women to seek out men who are successful, specifically those who have the means of providing a woman with comforts and luxuries.”
Also, the website provides us with some helpful clarification:
Sugar Daddy: n. Slang. A wealthy, usually older man who gives expensive gifts to a young person in return for intimacy or companionship.
Sugar Mommy: n. Slang. A wealthy, usually older women who gives expensive gifts to a young person in return for intimacy or companionship.
Sugar Baby: n. Slang. A young person who gives intimacy or companionship to an older man or woman in exchange for expensive gifts.
Now, this is all well and good. I once dated someone who showered me with lavish gifts. It’s not a bad deal. But where do we draw the line between a “mutually beneficial arrangement” and being a whore?
The dictionary defines “prostitute” as:
|1.||a woman who engages in sexual intercourse for money; whore; harlot.|
|2.||a man who engages in sexual acts for money.|
|3.||a person who willingly uses his or her talent or ability in a base and unworthy way, usually for money.|
So, is this “mutually beneficial arrangement” NOT prostitution because these “sugar babies” are receiving gifts instead of hard cash? Or is it because sex is negotiable within an “arrangement?”
According to this anonymous Sugar Baby, “Who doesn’t want to be spoilt and pampered? The truth is many of my girlfriends want to find a sugar daddy. The problem is they do not know how to start. SeekingArrangement provides the ideal venue – protecting their privacy while they explore possibilities with men who are serious.”
I am still having trouble wrapping my mind around this. On the one hand- what a great idea! I am young, attractive, and available. Therefore, I deserve to be paid for my attentions. How easy it could be! That new digital camcorder I’ve been wanting- POOF! It’s mine! All I had to do was spend some quality time with a rich older gentleman. I suppose I can understand this Sugar Baby’s point of view.
On the other hand… She’s getting paid for her attentions. The Japanese Geisha is the only other example of this I can think of, and even they were occasionally paid for intercourse. And yet, these Sugar Babies haven’t been schooled in the fine art of entertaining gentleman. The only thing they have going them is boobs. And naiveity. This just doesn’t seem right. It seems like prostitution. And let’s not forget that even consensual prostitution is still prostitution.
But is consensual prostitution fine and dandy? Or is it wrong because it’s still illegal? Is this fine and dandy? Is it illegal? Is it wrong even if it is legal? Is it still fine and dandy if it isn’t legal, but everyone is happy with it?
I am at a loss. I haven’t been this on the fence since someone asked me which I’d rather give up for the rest of my life: oral sex or cheese.
What do you think about “mutually beneficial arrangements?” Or oral sex vs. cheese?